Advice on balancing work with baby from a therapist who’s been there | CBC Life
Going back to work can be incredibly tough, so the key is trying to prep for such a big transition. Being a working mother means having to fit an extra eight working hours into what you were already doing with your baby, and that’s a huge undertaking. Add in common feelings of guilt and “not being there” for certain special moments, and it can be, understandably, enough to completely overwhelm an already stressed-out new mom. Janna has a few strategies moms can use to help achieve that coveted work/life balance.
Make and take time for yourself guilt-free
It’s common for moms to feel a sense of guilt when they go back to work, but babies haven’t developed the same sense of time as adults, so they don’t know when you’ve been gone for hours and they’re not not forming lasting memories of you being away. Try not to feel guilty for working because you’re doing exactly what a parent should: you’re offering financial help to your family, serving as a positive role model of a hard worker, and cultivating an identity outside of being a parent. Guilt doesn’t have to enter into the equation when you’re already juggling a million things.
Instead, recognize that every minute does not count. No one remembers every moment of childhood. Instead, people remember patterns and significant moments like “dad took me to the park every Sunday”, or “we played board games every Thursday,” and family vacations and holidays. Learn to use this knowledge to take the pressure off and spend more time taking moments for yourself, guilt-free.
Prioritizing is key
Prep work can be incredibly helpful when it comes to prioritizing with a newborn, and the same goes for when you decide to go back to work. Meal prep, childcare arrangements and making sure you have a backup plan if someone gets sick are all ways to relieve some potential stress. When you get home from work, consciously tell yourself that the dishes and laundry can wait and take some time with baby. Sometimes, it’s those little moments at the end of the day that can help put everything in perspective.
Manage your breastfeeding needs at work
Prior to returning to work, try to stock up on milk and get baby used to bottle feeding from someone other than mom. Pumping at work can be tricky, so be sure to have a conversation with your boss or your company’s HR department about your planned breastfeeding arrangements. You need a little time to relax and ease into it, and you and your employer will have to figure out when that is. It could be during your lunch break, or you could take your work with you and work while pumping. If you’ll be pumping in your office, you can keep your co-workers in the loop by making a “Do Not Disturb” sign for your door, and instructions on how to contact you later.
If you don’t have a personal office to pump in, find out where you can pump that is private and where you can store your expressed milk. And it’s important to know your rights. Legally, you cannot be denied the opportunity to pump while at work. Here are your rights according to The Canadian Human Rights Commission:
Employees who breastfeed or express/pump breast milk should be provided with accommodation for this purpose. Accommodation can include:
- Providing a suitable clean place to breast-feed or express milk and to store milk.
- Providing longer or extra breaks for the purpose of breast-feeding or expressing milk.
- Allowing for the extension of maternity leave.
- Allowing for alternative work arrangements.
